Grandparents now fill many roles within family
Baby boomers are becoming grandparents at a very rapid rate. If you have just become a grandparent or are going to be a grandparent soon, you have a whole new chapter in your life to look forward to.
Because of the increased mobility in our society today, many grandparents will find themselves living in another town, state, or country from their grandchildren. They may be wondering how they will share in the molding and education of their grandchildren and what kind of grandparents they will be.
Being a long-distance grandparent is enhanced these days through technology. The means of communicating are endless. You can use the telephone, video, email, fax machine, overnight delivery of packages and mail, etc. Or, you can keep in touch through letters, notes, and photographs.
Since grandparenting is a new role, many grandparents are looking for information and guidelines that can assist in developing this special role between grandparents and grandchildren.
Let’s look at some of the roles that grandparents play:
• They are often family historians, keepers, of the traditions and linear perspectives of the family. Children can learn about family history, traditional ways of doing things, family customs and the like from the conversations and stories told to them.
• Grandparents often serve as sources of values, shaping moral beliefs and sharing in the personal identity formation of their grandchildren.
• Perhaps the most important role grandparents play is that of a sounding board for their grandchildren. Simply being a good listener and providing a sympathetic ear is often all that is necessary to let the children “get it off their chest.” Grandparents and grandchildren are more like friends; children often feel freer to confide in them. This especially holds true when a child and his parents are going through a time of turbulence and familial discord.
• Grandparents are sometimes asked to serve as mediators in conflicts between their children and grandchildren. This can be a role full of pitfalls at times, but out of necessity, the grandparents may be effective in settling disputes. The key is for grandparents to consider this role only if invited rather than to become involved in order to meet their own needs.
• Unfortunately, in today’s society grandparents often serve as surrogate parents, becoming caretakers because their adult children are unable or unwilling to fulfill the parenting task. Adult children (parents) with the inability to provide economically, or who have problems of health, emotional problems or problems of substance abuse may relay on grandparents to become actively involved in the parenting role.
As a result of declining mortality, more people than ever are functioning as grandparents. Because they enter grandparenthood during their middle years and live longer, many grandparents function in this role for 40 years or more. The relationship between grandparents and grandchildren is therefore one of the many rewards of getting older.
